Humans Versus Zombies: Day 1 Report

John Mcleod

*New Log Found*

Age: 23

Sex: Male

Height: 5’9”

Eye color: Blue

Hair Color: Brown

Occupation: Captain

Other: You don’t know about my jaguar.

How did you survive the first wave of the zombie apocalypse and how do you plan to keep surviving?

I don’t remember when the screaming started. All I know is that it never stopped… Look, I don’t even know where to start with you. Do you have any idea who you’re talking to? I’m Captain McLeod. I run the Jaguar Brigade. We’re kind of a big deal. We hunt zombies. Got brain eating freaks running amok? We solve the problem. Why a jaguar you might ask. Well if you asked that I would ask you why you’re standing around asking questions instead of killing zombies. You see we’ve been fighting this war since it started. While most people were busy getting their brains eaten, we were opening a can of whoop ass on the undead. Many people ask me how we stop the zombies. The answer? Use a gun. If that doesn’t work? Use more gun.




Our mission involved us separating into two groups. One was tasked with meeting some old geezer who called himself “Obi-wan Kenobi.” The other, my group, was tasked with saving some princess. I believe her name was Lela?
I immediately gathered some of the top military fighters…or so I thought. One bearded fellow joined my group, calling himself “Red.” I figured that was because he bathed in the blood of his enemies.
It was not.
Once my group of rag-tag fighters was made, we went off to rescue the princess. However, we were immediately captured and thrown in jail along with her. The only escape route we could find was a trash compactor that would only release after 3 panels were pressed…outside the cells. With enough brainstorming, and my amazing people watching skills, we managed to destroy the panels with lasers. Once the trash chute was open we jumped down, thinking we were safe.
We couldn’t have been more wrong.
Once in the compactor, we quickly noticed that we weren’t alone. A vile beast came out from the trash, attacking us. We lost 2 comrades. They will be missed. Well, you know, except for James. I hate that guy. I mean, he died. By a hug. Why was he even hugging the monster?
Anyway, eventually, our comrades from the other group joined us in the compactor, because that made sense. Out of nowhere, the compactor activated and the walls began to close on us. With no apparent way out, we used our communicator to call our handy-dandy (and sometimes absolutely useless) droid: R2D2.
Once out, we knew we had to escape. I noticed half our group lagging behind, so I fell back to help. All I heard afterwards was the sound of a door closing behind me. We were trapped once again. We had to call our other handy-dandy droid, C3P0 to open the doors, because R2D2 is totally useless at the best times. Once all of the doors were opened, we ran for the ship and took off.
I pray it gets easier from this point on.



Today’s mission seemed like a success and a failure at the same time. We were given intel about a possible new location for a base or a camp. We decided to split up into two groups and search for any signs or clues that could lead us to this new location. All we had to work with were a few poorly drawn lines on a piece of paper, but at least it was something. We were getting weary and tired of searching so we checked back in with our dispatcher, only to find out that information on the new base had been found hours ago, and that their communication lines went down so they could not contact us. It made us all a little irked, but hey…at least we didn’t see a single biter.


After meeting up in a safe location to discuss plans about a new weapon, we split into two squadrons – I’m not sure what the other squadron did, but our team met with people code named ‘Obi Wan Kenobi’, ‘Han Solo’, and ‘C3PO’ to collect supplies and machinery for our ship. The zombies were waiting for us and almost sabotaged our attempts, but we ultimately succeeded. Shortly after fixing the ship, we received word that the other squadron was trapped in a zombie encampment. We valiantly ran to rescue them, but were also trapped within the trash chute momentarily. After being freed from the chute, code named ‘Princess Leia’ led us along a specific path. She warned us all that if we stepped off the path, we would be electrocuted. Thankfully, none of the survivors died during the escape, although a few were lost in the trash chute. Tomorrow we join the other survivors and fight to survive.



Today we made a run to retrieve some plans to blow up some death cube the zombies made, I wasn’t really paying attention. We met up with a robot which was pretty cool, but it had managed to let the zombies run off with parts of his ship. We found and retrieved the parts, and blew away some undead freaks in the process. We got a distress call from another group of survivors though. They had been captured in a death octagon and it was up to bust them out. We made short work of the zombies around the trash compacter they were trapped in, but it was too late. Two of our comrades had already fallen. If that wasn’t bad enough, we soon found ourselves trapped as well. Colonel Fish phoned some robot though, and after heroically slaying sevral more brain eating freaks, the doors opened and we were out. Our comrades had come to rescue some princess, I think her name was Lindsey or something like that. Either way she was important for one reason or another, and we proceeded to fight our way out of the death square. Try as they might, the zombies couldn’t bring down any of us. It’s all about the teamwork. Finally, having escaped the death sphere, we vanished into the night to fight another day.

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