If there is anything I could tell you about the humans, it is that I could tell you everything about the humans. When we first came to your sphere, it was shrouded in a sea of static. Surrounded by a mass of information, resounding all around your sphere. It threw off our devices in flight. We regained control over our ship in time to land. No less, we concerned over this. We thought it a shield, or even a weapon to be used against us. But it was merely information, compiled for centuries, floating all above your heads.
We came to your sphere in response to a series of numbers sent out many years ago. The binary format it was sent in was basic enough to be translated. We thought it at first an anomaly, a mere vibration of some yet to be known force somewhere in space, but we did not quite expect this. When we arrived on Earth, it was a barren and desolate place. Atomic dangers were in the air, but that was no matter to us. Observing minimal life, we almost left. A tribe pack of primates found us wandering your lands, they thought us odd. Vicious they must be, wearing blackened skins of other animals. We fled in our ship, not wishing to upset the life of this planet. Off in the distance, we notice a tall tower with what loked like a dwelling place below it. We decided to explore.
The buzz in the air astounded me. The whole tower buzzed, even the dwelling. I didn’t know what to do, I could see it, feel it, but there was no way to harness it or control it. Within your dwelling, I saw a series of small, blackened screens of glass. Black chairs sat all around the room, one per screen. In front of each was a wooden panel, covered in various items. Past that was a dense metal door, surrounded by walls much lower in density. Doors must have special value to you humans. So much so that you favor them over walls, which are arguably more important.
Not wanting to bother your door, I carve a hole in your wall next to it and pass into the next room. A room full of metallic equipment whose purposes I can only guess. Another chair with a bulb looking piece of metal in front of it. It buzzed and sparked when I try to touch it. Interesting. The whole room buzzed around me, and it began to agitate my system. I decided to leave the room, through another wall in the back. A long hallway of open doors, I go to the largest room. The chair in here is bigger and in better condition than those outside. Perhaps chairs are a social status for you humans? The chair is surrounded by thick wood paneling, on top of those are a series of blank screens, buzzing around me. I look about, inspecting the wood paneling. Beneath it I find wires that I assume unite the screens and other equipment. I see a series of three oddly shaped holes in a part of the wires, buzzing especially loud. I reach out to touch it with my hand and it buzzes and sparks. I recoil back. The screens light up, they buzz but they buzz in rhythm with me. I look at the screens, it reads:
Last Stand Radio
I feel a shift in the information around me. I found my way back to the outside and watched as the information no longer flew aimlessly, but was being directed in streams to various points on this tower of yours. Your information was now mine to control.
by ROBERT COCANOUGHER / literature columnist