An Ode to Perry’s Beard

Here at the Last Word, we have a head editor. He’s pretty useless, annoying, and genuinely uninteresting, but his face is adorned with perhaps one of the greatest achievements in mankind’s history. Known simply as The Beard, it has grown to mythic stature worldwide, with Time magazine naming it one of the 100 most influential people in the world, and Pope Francis himself naming it both a holy relic and a living martyr, the only one in Vatican history. Since The Beard is accepting a position in President Obama’s cabinet this summer, we decided that nothing would be more appropriate to commemorate its success than a heartfelt ode to that great hairy gem in humanity’s collective soul, Perry’s Beard.

An Ode to Perry’s Beard

 

By Dr. Sam G Levine III, Esq.

 

Oh Perry’s Beard, you certainly are weird

Your hair is black as night

And looks like pubes

But that’s all right

You’re kind of a cool dude

 

It is as we have feared

You must move on to better things

And leave us all behind

And we’ll have a hundred drinks

In memory of our time

 

Perry’s beard, the top of the tier

No other beard can compete

Your glory knows no bounds

Never have you known defeat

For you are the best around

 

Perry’s Beard, we wish you were here

But the time has come to say goodbye

We all love you so much more

Than you will ever know

In memorium: Perry's Beard, Chief Editor of TLW 2013-2014

In memorium: Perry’s Beard, Chief Editor of TLW 2013-2014

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One thought on “An Ode to Perry’s Beard

  1. Pingback: About Me | Journalism

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